Accidental Pharisee

That’s me. Well, a pharisee is what I’ve been acting like for quite some time now. No sooner than me throwing in the towel, quitting my performance of Christianity, did this reality hit me.

One day, visibly frustrated, my friend expressed her displeasure with our constant debates. Of course I defended myself, but I realized in doing so I was only digging a deeper hole. So, for a moment, I stopped thinking of how unfair her sentiments seemed to be, and considered the worst. What if I am prideful? What if I do always think I’m right, so my opinions are really facts I believe other people just haven’t been exposed to yet? What if I’ve come up with my own rules of what holiness looks like? What if I really do look at people who don’t have my “convictions” as less righteous than me? What if what I’ve thought was a pure desire to be holy and honor God has really been a drive to gain righteousness, because I didn’t believe righteousness could truly be given to me without my works earning it for me? What if my view of God has been pretty low, especially in the unconditional love department? What if…I’m a pharisee? Read more →