Why Did I get Married?

I have thought about this often over the past few months as my wife and I have endured extreme highs and lows.  The following list is in no particular order, I just categorized these things as they came to my mind and wanted to answer as honestly as I know how. Read more →

Sex and the Lies It Sold Me, Part 2

When sexual intimacy is ultimate in our mind, every other intimacy feels superficial. Friendships won’t suffice; we feel we need a husband or wife, or a girlfriend or boyfriend. But, as William Struthers states in his book Wired for Intimacy, “[Our] need for intimacy is like the need for a complete diet. It has many dimensions that are best satisfied through multiple means, not just the sugar of sexual relations.”

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Sex and the lies it sold me

I was exposed to pornography at a young age—somewhere around 11 years old. I remember being at a friend’s house and finding a Playboy in his parents’ bathroom. It was then that I discovered that I was wired to find enjoyment and pleasure in a woman, or, in other words, the opposite sex. I was captivated by a woman’s form, covered or bare. At the time, I didn’t understand why. I didn’t understand the science behind all of it. I didn’t understand God’s purpose for my sexuality. But I didn’t care; I just knew it felt good. I knew there was pleasure in the fulfillment of my sexual desires.

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A Shared Meal

She did not arrive as I had prepared myself for; [she isthe woman the world tells me to hate and my sisters in Christ warn to love only from a distance. I imagined her arriving airy, fresh, and bright; the face I’d clicked on thousands of times the last year and a half of my knowing. She arrived fearful, unsure, and shaken. We’d spoken on the phone a few times, sent Facebook messages, comments, likes and texts, but this would be the first time our eyes would meet.

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SEX: The Joys and Pains

Over the next few weeks, as a church, we will be examining 1 Corinthians 7 and specifically focusing on Sex, Singleness and Divorce/Remarriage in our sermon series #RelationshipStatus.  This past Sunday, we looked at SEX: A Spiritual Battle; with that in mind, this week’s posts will provide more personal reflections/experiences from others on this topic.   

My Journey

Six years ago, my husband and I struggled with sexual intimacy.  As a woman and wife, I was devastated. Doctors weren’t sure what was going on until a year into our marriage. They gave me several medical diagnoses due to painful intercourse. Three years and 60 lbs later, I was told I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), which is a life-long disease causing: cysts on the ovaries, an increase in testosterone, weight gain, excessive hair growth, and infertility due to an irregular menstrual and ovulation cycle.  Ahhhhh!! Deep breaths. So many times I would tell myself that, but I never knew whom I was talking to because in the midst of all of this myself was fading. Can you imagine the stress and communication breakdown our marriage endured? My testosterone levels were so high, I often felt out of control. I mean overly aggressive, moody and sometimes abusive.

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Let’s talk about sex…kids

There is an expression that you hear in Christian circles—”more is caught than taught.” This simply means that in many cases people learn more effectively by personal experience than by being taught or spoken to about a certain subject. What I have learned is that talking about sex to your kids is definitely NOT one of those subjects!

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As the World Turns

Back in April, I joined others from Blueprint on my first mission trip.  Simply put, it ravished me. But, since I’ve returned, everything around me seems to keep changing.  Less than a month after being in a different country, I headed off to a different state where I’d spend two months serving at Kids Across America (that deserves a blog post all its own).  I said goodbye to friends, family, community and my city for the summer.  I said hello to 8-10 new kampers every week in the cabin I lead with my co-counselors.  Then, after five weeks, I said “see you later” to those two co-counselors and “hello” to a new partner in a different cabin with different girls.  I then returned home to begrudgingly say sayonara to my best friend whose teaching abroad for the next 10 months.  I started a new job last week, and did I mention I’m moving in about three weeks?

Please, tell me your head is spinning too! Read more →

“That should have been me on that cross!”

 This week features posts from Angie Lewis.  She is the wife of our lead pastor, Dhati, and proud mother of six. Angie’s unique voice and perspective promises to encourage and strengthen those who read. We hope you enjoy and are blessed.

KAA is one of our favorite summer activities.  Kids Across America is a Christian sports camp in the woods of Missouri.  It is great for us because it allows us to unplug, focus on our family, share our lives with the 16-18 year old campers and the counselors that come…and we get to do it as a family!  The kids LOVE it.  It is endless chats and yelling and high energy.   One of the nights is called CrossTalk, in which the counselors reenact the crucifixion.  A man plays the role of Jesus–he is beaten, mocked, spit on and hung on the cross to die.  It is dramatic and always well done—painting the picture of what Christ did in dying for His people.  We always consider which children to take to this part of the schedule.  This year, Trinity got to go to camp as a camper in one of the younger groups.  So, Jade and Briaiah were my only girls.  Dhati and I thought about who was mature enough and ready to see CrossTalk.  We decided I would take Jade and Briaiah, but that he would stay behind with the boys.  Jade is 8 and Briaiah is 6.  The boys: 5,4, and 3.  So, Jade and Briaiah and I all walked down to the lake to watch CrossTalk. Read more →

Monkey See

 This week features posts from Angie Lewis.  She is the wife of our lead pastor, Dhati, and proud mother of six. Angie’s unique voice and perspective promises to encourage and strengthen those who read. We hope you enjoy and are blessed.

Everyone in our family has memorized the verse about not doing evil for evil or insult for insult—1 Peter 3:9,“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” One night, we put the kids to bed by 7:30 pm. Note: they are in their room—not because they are tired—but because we are. The boys are allowed to play in their own beds and talk, but not to get up. Nathaniel, on this night, disobeyed. He got up and threw a toy at Brayden’s head. Who knows if he was being mean or not? But we do know he likes to throw everything! So, I can assume that he didn’t actually mean to hurt him, but he did. Brayden starts crying. I head upstairs to shut down all of the commotion. As I walked up the stairs, I hear another big thud, and then Nathaniel begins to cry. “What happened?” I asked. Dhati Jr. (DJ) proudly answers, “I took care of it, Mom. I just did evil for evil. Nathaniel threw a toy at Brayden, so I threw a toy at Nathaniel.” The huge smile across his face told me that he thought he did the right thing. I held back my laughter. I explained that ‘evil for evil’ was actually a bad thing, not a good thing. I had discussed this very thing with all of the children while we memorized the scripture. I thought that everyone had a solid understanding of the text that we worked so hard to hide in our hearts by committing it to our memory. DJ was so disappointed by his misunderstanding. Hmm…I guess memorizing doesn’t necessarily give you an appropriate view of its explanation.

I Have a Job

 This week features posts from Angie Lewis.  She is the wife of our lead pastor, Dhati, and proud mother of six. Angie’s unique voice and perspective promises to encourage and strengthen those who read. We hope you enjoy and are blessed.

“What do I do?” you ask. Well, I am a part time chef, I own my own cleaning business, and I’m a teacher, accountant, and secretary. I am a babysitter, a maintenance person, part-time cake decorator, event planner, manager, photographer, nurse, fashion coordinator, counselor, grounds keeper, crisis specialist, chauffeur, and coach. I am a mom of 6 children. But, my full-time (also unpaid) position is being a helpmate to my wonderful husband, a church planter. Read more →